lev
2004-08-12 20:56:59 UTC
For the past 7 years I, male, late twenties, have been blessed with an
incredible union with a woman (early thirties) that was as much of a
match for me as anything I imagine can be - a true soul mate, if such
thing truly exists. Despite all that, I threw it all away a few months
ago, when feeling overburdened with the realities of being in a long
term relationship since early age, I had convinced myself that I feel
void of romantic attraction to her, had developed a crush on someone
else and had revealed all that to her.
She took my revelation hard and after several weeks of misery insisted
that we separate, and quickly turned around to date someone else. She
has since been with this person for few months with an increasing
level of commitment.
As for me, it didn't take me long to realize that relationship just
needed well deserved work and ending it was a terrible mistake.
While I fully realize the futility of trying to get my wife back, as
well as the emotional turmoil that I will continue to endure until I
"let go and move on", I feel compelled to pursue a strategy that would
maximize my chances of getting her back.
So far I have been following a strategy of maximizing the appearance
of happiness and positivity, attempting to maintain moderate level of
communication and even spending time together, refraining from
criticizing her in any way as well as refraining from expressing my
feelings for her, so as not to push her away. One time I deviated from
that policy was a month ago when I explicitly expressed the desire to
reunite with her.
But often I am driven to interrupt the communication to allow her to
"miss me", or to tell her how much I am still in love with her in an
attempt to amend what I said six months ago.
I feel very unconfident in my actions and I would highly appreciate
any advice you might have on the subject. Thanks a million in advance.
incredible union with a woman (early thirties) that was as much of a
match for me as anything I imagine can be - a true soul mate, if such
thing truly exists. Despite all that, I threw it all away a few months
ago, when feeling overburdened with the realities of being in a long
term relationship since early age, I had convinced myself that I feel
void of romantic attraction to her, had developed a crush on someone
else and had revealed all that to her.
She took my revelation hard and after several weeks of misery insisted
that we separate, and quickly turned around to date someone else. She
has since been with this person for few months with an increasing
level of commitment.
As for me, it didn't take me long to realize that relationship just
needed well deserved work and ending it was a terrible mistake.
While I fully realize the futility of trying to get my wife back, as
well as the emotional turmoil that I will continue to endure until I
"let go and move on", I feel compelled to pursue a strategy that would
maximize my chances of getting her back.
So far I have been following a strategy of maximizing the appearance
of happiness and positivity, attempting to maintain moderate level of
communication and even spending time together, refraining from
criticizing her in any way as well as refraining from expressing my
feelings for her, so as not to push her away. One time I deviated from
that policy was a month ago when I explicitly expressed the desire to
reunite with her.
But often I am driven to interrupt the communication to allow her to
"miss me", or to tell her how much I am still in love with her in an
attempt to amend what I said six months ago.
I feel very unconfident in my actions and I would highly appreciate
any advice you might have on the subject. Thanks a million in advance.